Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize