I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You can't motorboat a personality
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
