So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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