Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Randomize
