Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
