forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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