these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
