i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
