a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
