Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
