i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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