she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
