she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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