So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
