She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
