Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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