So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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