As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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