She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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