Best friends brother. Beat that.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
