I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
