I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
