She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
