I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
