Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
