just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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