im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
