What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
