nut hugger
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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