No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
