He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
