I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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