I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
we're so committed to being not committed
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
