Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize