You can't special order awesome
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize