..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize