i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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