i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
