you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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