I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize