I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
