Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
