woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
