I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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