I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
