He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
