It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
