I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
