somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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