i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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