Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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