im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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