Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize