was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
