i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
thus making me awesome and them whores
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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