Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
