they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
