Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I came so hard my ears popped.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
