I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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