I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize