Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I love you. Go after that dick
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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