i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This is classic penis vs brain.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
