normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
