Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
