yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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